On Auditions

As the wonderful Joni Waldrop once said, "The only thing worse than Azkaban is waiting for a cast list to go up." Everything about the audition process is hellish. I hate auditions-- sixteen to thirty-two bars to show why you are good enough. Different enough. Talented enough. Deciding to even audition for a show, picking the right song, and knowing what kind of small talk to make with the director are things that don't come super easily to me.

Callbacks aren't much better. You can see all your competition right there, and you just want to be as good as them. Dancing isn't exactly my best friend-- it takes me a while to get choreography down. When I do, it's fine, but when you have ten minutes and you know that whether or not you get in the show depends on if you can dance it or not.....well, it isn't exactly a walk in the park.

As is probably obvious, I auditioned for a show over the weekend. I don't know how it went. Usually I either feel pretty dang positive or I think, "Well, I'd better start looking again, cuz that show ain't happenin'." But after this callback (in which we were told that only fifty percent of us will be cast) I honestly don't know. I don't know. And that's the worst. The cast list should be posted today, but it could be hours and hours. Great.

My thought process after seventy-five, eighty percent of auditions-- the Not Completely Horrible ones--  is always the same. Part of you thinks you nail it and they have no choice but to cast you. Another bracing for disappointment and and pointing out the vast amount of talent you were up against. In some ways you are already falling in love with the show and yet you are also preparing for the next audition. Your pep talk is ready, but you are terrified of needing it. Your name is on the program. Your name will never be on anything again. They loved you. They were just being polite. Don't worry. Try again and don't give up. It doesn't matter.

Yes, it does.