Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Rays of Sunshine

I feel like I've been in a pretty subdued mood lately and would like to take a break from that. I'll admit that this month has really put the NO in November, but it was nowhere near as bad as September was. So here are some happy things that have happened in my life recently.

--I discovered Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Okay, happy is definitely not the right word for Kite Runner. Nothing about it is happy. I simultaneously strongly recommend that you read it and urge caution that your emotional state can handle it. I was not emotionally prepared. Trying to be as spoiler-free as possible, bad things happen. This is a powerful, painful book. I shotgunned it in a free afternoon, but you can't simply set Kite Runner aside when you've turned the last page. Kite Runner follows you around and whispers in your ear that your first world problems are nothing; it refuses to be forgotten. I was numb to the world for the next twenty-four hours. My emotions were laid bare. So while there is no universe exists that would describe Kite Runner as happy, I am happy that book such as Kite Runner exist, even though I have to suffer emotional trauma at the hands of a paperback.

--Most of my classes are done until after Thanksgiving! Huzzah for being able to sleep in!

--My roommates and I have lived in our house for a year now without any major disasters or roommate drama. That's pretty legit. I love our house-- Amber, Mickie, and I have conversations that range from intellectual debate to ridiculously silly and everything in between. We're smart, we're funny, and gosh darn it people like us! 

--In Sims world I'm married to a scientist, pregnant, and a level 2 Ghosthunter. I also have adorable cats named Gilbert and Sullivan who randomly bring me money because they are awesome like that.

--I really enjoy my new job at Brookstone. My coworkers are all guys, so I'm automatically the prettiest girl in the store most of the time and I get a lot of entertainment during work. Also, I sometimes force them to give me dating advice. Heaven knows I need it.

--Catching Fire was one of the few movies that was just as good a movie as it was a book. I don't say that lightly. Also, Thor 2 was fabulous, way better than the first one. The only needless eye candy shot was of Thor standing around being hot and shirtless; it's refreshing to see a blockbuster that doesn't assume we're all guys who want to stare at girls' butts.

--Utah hasn't been drenched in snow yet! There have been flurries in the city, but nothing that's stuck around for more than a few hours. I'm crossing my fingers that we can actually make it all the way to December. That's never happened to me before, but I would be a very happy camper. 

Best for last:
--Today I found out that JAMES MARSTERS IS COMING TO SALT LAKE'S COMICCON NEXT YEAR. JAMES MARSTERS. SPIKE FROM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. AKA THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER THAT I FELL HARDER AND FASTER FOR THAN ANY OTHER FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE AND THAT'S A REALLY BIG DEAL FOR ME. I already knew I wanted to go, but now it's been kicked up eight or twelve notches on the necessity scale. I MUST GO TO THERE. If he were in Salt Lake and I wasn't around to see him I would just die because of pain.

It's about time I started expressing gratitude what with Thanksgiving being just days away. c: 

Monday, November 18, 2013

Love Eternal

"Love is the whole and more than all." -E.E. Cummings

Lately I've been paying attention to the kind of fictional relationships that I'm drawn to. While I have an abundance of "ships" (that's relationships I think should happen, for those of you not acquainted with fangirl jargon), the ones that truly break my heart and make me have all these feelings and scream, "I WANT A LOVE LIKE THAT!" have a few things in common. The ships that I'm thinking of are Heathcliff and Cathy (Wuthering Heights), Snape and Lily (Harry Potter), and Spike and Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer).

The main thing here is eternal love. As much as Cathy, Lily, and Buffy said that they wanted nothing to do with the gentlemen, the gentlemen loved on. Their love was truly eternal. Heathcliff left the country and even married another woman, but he physically could not rip himself away from Cathy's deathbed. Snape retreated into bitterness, but protected the son of his archnemsis for years because he knew it was what Lily would ask him to do. Buffy rejected Spike time and time again, but he died for her. DIED. (Greater love hath no man than this....)

 I crave someone that won't move on from me. I want to believe that someone could fall so hard for me he could *never* move on. A fantasy, probably. I've said, "I'll never get over him," about seven or eight different guys. And I have gotten over all of them. Most of us are like that. It's an obsessive kind of love that never lets go. You would probably be right to call it unhealthy. But that unbreakable commitment-- it seems so necessary to me. That's what love is about. Not wanting anyone else, even when the object of your affection doesn't want you. 

No one's ever needed me like that. I know that in real life love is based off of the small things, not the crashing tempests, but I truly believe that there should be a foundation of *needing* to be with someone. I don't know, maybe that's naive. But these loves.....I can't even express how perfect they are.

"God himself could not have torn us apart." "I repeat one prayer. I repeat it until my tongue stiffens. Haunt me, Cathy Earnshaw." "Every thing in the world is an echo of her." -Wuthering Heights

"After all this time?" "Always." -Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

"Why does a man do what he mustn't? To be hers. To be the kind of man who would never-- to be a kind of man." "Last night I just held you, watched you sleep. And it was the best night of my life." -Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Dear Diary...... (Part Four)

Celebrate good times, come on! Yeah, there were some good times going on here. c:
Here are some entries out of my journal from April and May 2012


Amber and I just filled Kari’s car with balloons. We didn’t do anything for April Fool’s Day, and then she came up here and was showing us prank videos. What were we supposed to do, not fill her car with balloons? Come on. She left the windows open.

Amber, Kari, Jill, and I just spent a couple hours fulfilling a cliché-- we sat on the floor of Amber’s room and talked about our future weddings and wedding receptions and looked at pictures and whatnot. As I said, the only thing that would have made it more “single women-y” would be if we were eating chocolate ice cream out of the carton.

I do like that he is punctual. (Observation from rereading that sentence: Punctual? I sound like McGonagall, who is not exactly a queen of dating.)

 The first time I saw Thor:

Ladies, Chris Hemsworth is HOT. You don’t understand. I don’t love muscle men, and I seldom like blond guys, and cocky heroes do not turn me on. But this man, this man, this hunk of beautiful MAN! He is so HOT. Those arms……oh my gosh he’s just so big! And when he had his shirt off for a while………yeah, I’m just gonna sit here and think about that with a big smile on my face for a minute. Plus he has facial hair AND long hair, which are both powerful weaknesses of mine. I’m telling you, the man looks like a mixture of a lumberjack and a L’Oreal commercial.

He is so strong, and I just want to throw myself at him and make out with him, which is not usually something I want to do with the hero. The guy is a little pompous, and slightly foolhardy, and flies in a ridiculous fashion, but he is SO HOT. Sorry for reiteration, but I’m still in shock from HIS SIX PACK HITTING ME IN THE FACE. Chris Hemsworth: No girl is ever prepared.
Watched Captain America for the first time. Shane was over. When he (Captain America, not Shane) burst out of the facility and into modern times I literally screamed with surprise (I usually see stuff like that coming, but I was way wrapped up in the moment) and he (Shane, not Captain America) started laughing. He also laughed when I was covering my face with a pillow and rocking back and forth. Jill: What are you laughing about? Me: I’m not laughing. I’m crying for Captain America.  

At Big Thunder Mountain Railroad as Bethany, Julia, and I were walking through the line, this guy comes on the intercom and says, “There are two lines, people. You can use both of them. There is the left line, which everyone seems to be using right now, and there is the right lane…which no one seems to be using right now.” We laughed and moved a little further. He comes again. “There are TWO lines. TWO.” We realize he is having a problem with this. He comes on again. “There are two lines!” and did a sarcastic shocked gasp. It was the funniest thing I have ever heard over an intercom.

Bethany and I had a laugh attack in the swimming pool today. I almost drowned like twenty times. But what if the Von Trapps couldn’t stop laughing while they were hiding from the Nazis? And what kind of videos would come up if you searched for “Homeless guy takes pictures at the zoo”? Have you ever thought about these things? Also, we had a very difficult time getting into the too hot tub without dying because it was approximately seventy million degrees.