Saturday, December 30, 2023

What I Read in 2023

 I meant to read more than forty eight books this year. But it turned out to be the hardest year of my life and the best we can do is all we can do. 


Top Ten of 2023:

1. November Road-- Lou Berney

Content warning for lots of sex and violence but my god I loved this book. I cried. Can we overcome who we have been?

2. Be Frank With Me-- Julia Claiborne Johnson

I usually hate precocious kid characters but this one was great.

3. Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, & the Last Trial of Harper Lee-- Casey Cep

Did you know at one point Harper Lee was apartment neighbors with Hall & Oates?

4. A Man of Iron: The Turbulent Life and Improbable Presidency of Grover Cleveland-- Troy Senik

5. It Came From the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror-- Ed. by Jose Vallese

6. Tyrant: Shakespeare on Politics-- Stephen Greenblatt

7. Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts-- Kate Racculia

8. 100 Places To See After You Die: A Guide to the Afterlife-- Ken Jennings

9. Trailed: One Woman's Quest to Solve the Shenandoah Murders-- Kathryn Miles

10. Answers in the Form of Questions: A Definitive History & Insider's Guide to Jeopardy!-- Claire McNear


Honorable mentions: All Things Aside-- Iliza Shlesinger (nonfiction) and The Silent Land -- Graham Joyce (fiction)

And now the complete list. As always, my recommendations are bolded and sections are sorted alphabetically by author. Rereads are marked with ***. Here's to a happier 2024, and let me know what you think I should read in it!


Nonfiction

Black is the Body: Stories From My Grandmother's Time, My Mother's Time, & Mine-- Emily Bernard

Born Round: The Secret History of a Fulltime Eater-- Frank Bruni

***Shakespeare: The World as a Stage-- Bill Bryson

Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, & the Last Trial of Harper Lee-- Casey Cep

A Mind Spread Out on the Ground-- Alicia Elliott

Tyrant: Shakespeare on Politics-- Stephen Greenblatt

Screaming on the Inside: The Unsustainability of American Motherhood-- Jessica Grose

Comedy Sex God-- Pete Holmes

100 Places to See After You Die: A Travel Guide to the Afterlife-- Ken Jennings

***Now I See You: A Memoir-- Nicole C Kear

The World Deserves My Children-- Natasha Leggero

Answers in the Form of Questions: A Definitive History & Insider's Guide to Jeopardy!-- Claire McNear

Trailed: One Woman's Quest to Solve the Shenandoah Murders-- Kathryn Miles

***Never Cry Wolf: The Amazing True Story of Life Among Arctic Wolves-- Farley Mowat

The Indomitable Florence Finch: The Untold Story of a War Widow Turned Resistance Fighter & Savior of American POWs-- Robert J Mrazek

The Impossible First: From Fire to Ice-- Crossing Antarctica Alone-- Colin O'Brady

The Taking of Jemima Boone: Colonial Settlers, Tribal Nations, & the Kidnap That Shaped America-- Matthew Pearl

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity-- Esther Perel

We Thought We Knew You: A Terrifying True Story of Secrets, Betrayal, Deception, & Murder-- M William Phelps

The Far Land: 200 Years of Murder, Mania, & Mutiny in the South Pacific-- Brandon Presser

Brave, Not Perfect: Fear Less, Fail More, & Live Bolder-- Reshma Saujani

A Man of Iron: The Turbulent Life & Improbable Presidency of Grover Cleveland-- Troy Senik

All Things Aside: Absolutely Correct Opinions-- Iliza Shlesinger

Missing, Presumed-- Susie Steiner

***Unfriending My Ex & Other Things I'll Never Do-- Kim Stolz

Sitting Pretty: The View From My Ordinary Resilient Disabled Body-- Rebekah Taussig

It Came From the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror-- Edited by Joe Vallese

The Witches Are Coming-- Lindy West

O My America! Six Women & Their Second Acts in a New World-- Sara Wheeler



Fiction

And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer & Longer-- Fredrik Backman

November Road-- Lou Berney

Five Little Pigs-- Agatha Christie

Long Black Veil-- Jennifer Finney-Boylan

*** The Ocean at the End of the Lane-- Neil Gaiman

***The Wind in the Willows-- Kenneth Grahame

A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor-- Hank Green

The Thin Man-- Dashiell Hammett

The Utterly Uninteresting & Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant-- Drew Hayes

The Queen of the Tearling-- Erika Johansen

Be Frank With Me-- Julia Clairborne Johnson

***Howl's Moving Castle-- Diana Wynne Jones

The Silent Land-- Graham Joyce

Before the Coffee Gets Cold-- Toshikazu Kawaguchi

Interesting Times-- Terry Pratchett

Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts-- Kate Racculia

The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle-- Stuart Turton

Quick Service-- PG Wodehouse

Lemon-- Kwon Yeo-sun

Sunday, November 12, 2023

she persisted

 This has been the hardest, worst, most tumultuous year of my life. There is still a month and a half to go. But there have also been streaks of light and love and joy. Esther Perel says catastrophe has a way of propelling us into the essence of things. Well, honey, we're in the essence now. And feeling so much, all the time is so exquisite and cruel and relentless. My heart sometimes is hit by waves of pain and longing so pure it feels like I'll break into a thousand pieces. My feelings are jagged and unpredictable. My toddler exclaims, whenever I cry, "Mama has big feelings!" My baby doesn't understand anything yet. He just stares at me with his dark gray eyes as if to remind me how much I am needed, how much responsibility I carry. How can I, someone so flawed, have had a hand in creating something so beautiful? 


And sometimes my beloved holds me and I cry on his chest and he strokes my hair and I'm sure that if we can just make it to the new year I'll be okay. The person I was before may have died but I think who I am now has a shot at happiness, if I can play my cards right.


My heart is like my newly postpartum body-- it may still be bleeding but it is doing its goddamn best.

Thursday, December 29, 2022

A Year in Books: 2022

Happy New Year! Almost!

It's that very special time of year where I collect all the books I read this year and recommend my top ten favorites. This year's top 10 list was heavy on nonfiction, which I find myself drawn to more and more. I still like a good fantasy, but I keep finding all the best stories are true. As always I am looking for recommendations, fiction or otherwise! I've read 950 books since I started keeping track in 2011 so next year I'm on track to surpass the big 1000 :O

Total: 73 books, 40 nonfiction / 33 fiction

1. Pandora's Jar: Women in the Greek Myths by Natalie Haynes
I want Natalie Haynes to write about everything. This exploration of women in the Greek myths captivated me from the first page. She takes us from those viewed in a positive light like Helen to those viewed in a negative light like Medusa (are there really any villains here?) and every shade of moral grey in between. I learned so much and I cannot recommend it highly enough. 

2. Just My Type: A Book About Fonts by Simon Garfield
This is Simon Garfield's third appearance on my annual Top Ten list and I don't see that stopping anytime soon. When I saw this subtitle I felt as though it had been written just for me. I'm a huge font nerd (Georgia is the best no contest) and read this trivia filled romp through the history of typeface with delight. Serifs vs sans, face off.

3. Live Among the Savages by Shirley Jackson
I don't think I'm alone in associating Shirley Jackson with her chilling short stories that often feature evil in everyday settings. I read "The Lottery" in middle school and am still not over it. But I had no idea she'd written a couple of semiautobiographical books about raising her children in the middle of the 20th century that are full of comedy, heart, and relatability. No frights, except for the terror of raising children and wondering what to do when the furnace won't start. Lovely.

4. I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
Woooooooooof this is a tough read. One of the stars of iCarly opens up about everything. Trigger warnings for everything: Eating disorders, emotional abuse, sexual assault, really, really, really horrible parenting. I think we should abolish children acting on television, tbh. It's really well written, but skip if you're in an emotionally vulnerable place. I hope Jennette McCurdy is having a good day, god knows she deserves it.

5. Travels With George: In Search of Washington and His Legacy by Nathaniel Philbrick
I haven't read any of Nathaniel Philbrick's other historical books. Maybe I'm worried I'll be let down. But this was an excellent introduction and he's on my list for the future. He and his wife (and their dog) follow the path George Washington took after he was elected president and visited the thirteen original colonies. Philbrick mixes past and present day tales and tries to find connections between the two. You know what they say, the more things change....

6. American Heiress: The Wild Saga of the Kidnapping, Crimes, and Trial of Patty Hearst by Jeffrey Toobin
Well this was a wild ride. I had been vaguely aware of Patty Hearst and associated her name with Stockholm Syndrome but I had no idea of the full goings on. It is frankly ridiculous that she was (spoiler alert) reintegrated into polite society with no more than a slight slap on the wrist but that's having a rich family for ya! This reads like a thriller.

7. Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire 
There are only two fiction books on this list and they're both dark with elements of horror. Maybe next year's fiction will be lighter? When girls like Alice come back from Wonderland, how are they supposed to function in the "real world"? They go to a boarding school to help them accept their loss. But someone has started killing them....  This is a short read but an excellent job of world building.

8. The Unexpected President: The Life and Times of Chester A Arthur by Scott S Greenberger
I've said it before but in my presidential biography reading I often like best learning about the ones I knew very little about. While it's a tragedy (and an avoidable one at that) that James A Garfield died in office, Chester Arthur shocked everyone by rising above his corrupt background and following the encouragement of a letter writing spinster who told him she believed he could do better. 

9. Reprieve by James Han Mattson
A hands on, no holds barred haunted house with a charismatic CEO. A dead teenager. A trial. I will say that the ending felt a bit rushed to me, but the creepy atmosphere leading up to it for the rest of the book is spot on.

10. Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love by Dani Shapiro
There have been a spate of the "I took a 23 and Me test and my life got turned upside down" books in the last few years, and I'm sure that craze isn't over yet. Whether through infidelity, adoption, or donor sperm, many people have learned secrets that never would have been revealed without DNA testing. Dani Shapiro ponders what makes a family in this bittersweet memoir.

Honorable Mentions: 
Just the Funny Parts by Nell Scovell (nonfiction)
Something to Live For by Richard Roper (fiction)

And now, all the rest! As always, recommendations are bolded and rereads are marked with *** and books are listed alphabetically by author.


Nonfiction

  • Drunk Tank Pink: And Other Unexpected Forces That Shape How We Think, Feel, & Behave -- Adam Alter
  • The Dirt on Clean: An Unsanitized History-- Katherine Ashenburg
  • The Lost Prince: The Survival of Richard of York-- David Baldwin
  • Maeve's Times: In Her Own Words-- Maeve Binchy
  • The Poison Squad: One Chemist's Single Minded Crusade for Food Safety at the Turn of the 20th Century-- Deborah Blum
  • Wildcat: The Untold Story of Pearl Hart, the Wild West's Most Notorious Bandit-- John Boessenecker
  • Too Pretty to Live: The Catfishing Murders of East Tennessee-- Dennis Brooks
  • The Great Pretender: The Undercover Mission That Changed Our Understanding of Madness-- Susannah Cahalan
  • Eat the Buddha: Life & Death in a Tibetan Town-- Barbara Demick
  • I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman -- Nora Ephron
  • Secret Lives of the Tsars: Three Centuries of Autocracy, Debauchery, Betrayal, Murder, & Madness From Romanov Russia-- Michael Farquhar 
  • Beyond the Wand: The Magic & Mayhem of Growing Up a Wizard -- Tom Felton (Excellent as an audiobook, narrated by the author)
  • Ten Steps to Nanette: A Memoir Situation -- Hannah Gadsby (Excellent as an audiobook, narrated by the author)
  • When Life Gives You Pears: The Healing Power of Family, Faith, & Funny People-- Jim Gaffigan
  • Just My Type: A Book About Fonts-- Simon Garfield
  • Last Call: A True Story of Love, Lust, & Murder in Queer New York-- Elon Green
  • The Unexpected President: The Life and Times of Chester A Arthur -- Scott S Greenberger
  • Murder by the Book: The Crime That Shocked Dickens's London-- Claire Harman
  • Pandora's Jar: Women in the Greek Myths -- Natalie Haynes
  • Life Among the Savages-- Shirley Jackson
  • Heart: A History-- Saneep Jauhar
  • The Women I Think About At Night: Traveling the Paths of My Heroes-- Mia Kankimaki
  • Putting It Together: How Stephen Sondheim & I Created Sunday in the Park With George - James Lapine
  • Walking the Bowl: A True Story of Murder & Survival Among the Street Children of Lusaka -- Chris Lockhart & Daniel Mulilo Chama
  • Blowout: Corrupted Democracy, Rogue State Russia, & the Richest, Most Destructive Industry on Earth -- Rachel Maddow
  • I'm Glad My Mom Died-- Jennette McCurdy
  • Lions of the West: Heroes & Villains of the Westward Expansion-- Robert Morgan
  • The Light We Carry-- Michelle Obama
  • This Is What America Looks Like: My Journey From Refugee to Congresswoman-- Ilhan Omar
  • Travels With George: In Search of Washington & His Legacy-- Nathaniel Philbrick
  • Dancing in the Mosque: An Afghan Mother's Letter to Her Son-- Homeira Qaderi
  • Catch the Sparrow: A Search for a Sister & the Truth of Her Murder-- Rachel Rear
  • Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law-- Mary Roach
  • Just the Funny Parts: And a Few Hard Truths About Sneaking Into the Hollywood Boys' Club-- Nell Scovell
  • Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, & Love-- Dani Shapiro
  • The Fly Trap-- Fredrik Sjoberg
  • Word by Word: The Secret Life of Dictionaries-- Kory Stamper
  • Brothers on Three: A True Story of Family, Resistance, & Hope on a Reservation in Montana-- Abe Streep 
  • The Year of the End: A Memoir of Marriage, Truth, & Fiction - Anne Theroux
  • American Heiress: The Wild Saga of the Kidnapping, Crimes, & Trial of Patty Hearst-- Jeffrey Toobin
  • Sigh, Gone: A Misfit's Memoir of Great Books, Punk Rock, & the Fight to Fit In-- Phuc Tran
  • The Last Escaper: The Untold Firsthand Story of the Legendary World War II Bomber Pilot, "Cooler King," & Arch Escape Artist-- Peter Tunstall
  • Instant Mom-- Nia Vardalos 
  • The Fixed Stars: A Memoir-- Molly Wizenberg


Fiction

  • Leave the World Behind -- Rumaan Alam (For the first time in nine years of book blogging I honestly don't know if I recommend it or not. I'm so torn. The writing was pretentious and I hated the ending but the middle was so compelling. You may love it, you may hate it; it's certainly not for everyone.)
  • If Beale Street Could Talk-- James Baldwin
  • The Immortalists-- Chloe Benjamin
  • The Postman Always Rings Twice-- James M Cain
  • The Boy on the Bridge-- MR Carey
  • Highfire-- Eoin Colfer
  • Absolute Certainty-- Rose Connors
  • ***The Eyre Affair-- Jasper Fforde
  • The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter-- Theodora Goss
  • The Cactus-- Sarah Haywood
  • The Perfect Girl-- Gilly Macmillan
  • Reprieve-- James Han Mattson
  • Every Heart a Doorway-- Seanan McGuire
  • Oona Out of Order-- Margarita Montimore
  • The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August -- Claire North
  • Noor-- Nnedi Okorafor
  • Listen to the Marriage-- John Jay Osborn
  • The Magician's Assistant-- Ann Patchett
  • Soul Music-- Terry Pratchett
  • ***The Lost Hero-- Rick Riordan
  • ***The Son of Neptune-- Rick Riordan
  • ***The Mark of Athena-- Rick Riordan
  • Something to Live For-- Richard Roper
  • Lizzie Bright & the Buckminster Boy-- Gary D Schmidt
  • It's Not Like It's a Secret-- Misa Sugiura
  • The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules-- Catharina Ingelman Sundberg
  • Mrs Sinclair's Suitcase-- Louise Walters
  • Lum-- Libby Ware


Monday, May 16, 2022

A Multiverse With Plenty of Madness

 So Doctor Strange was real bizarre.

Truly a trippy film. Not a well put together review but man, I am glad we saw it in a basically empty theatre because I was cackling. Some parts that weren't meant to be funny (like America exploding her parents into the multiverse because she saw... a bee?) were hysterical. Also, THE SOULS OF THE DAMNED. That's when the movie really jumped the shark for me. It was not a good movie , but at least it wasn't boring.


Assorted ramblings, full of spoilers:

-Christine-- surely no one can believe he actually cares about her since he hasn't mentioned her once since his standalone movie. This isn't a Peggy Carter situation; if you put a gun to my head yesterday and asked who Dr Strange's love interest was I could not have told you

- SO many candles. That combined with the constant evoking of "Christine" (because Sam Raimi believes if you mention something enough times that's the same thing as having it make sense) gives it real Phantom of the Opera vibes

- speaking of PoTO, there's a fight with piano notes?? like Marvel meets Fantasia?? And the climatic blow is struck by a single harp note that I guess is just extra special

- Dr Strange torments a man who was stolen from and it's presented as "how funny"

- There are SO MANY bad "quippy" one liners in this movie. The dialogue is atrocious. 

- Did I mention THE SOULS OF THE DAMNED???? That sound like the "it's me, boy" TikTok? Does this mean there is a god in this universe? What are they damned from? Just general wtf

- The reason No Way Home worked so well is because we knew all the Spider-Men and were excited to see the actors reunited. This was just Benedict Cumberbatch with different hair

- What was up with the evil one? just a plot point I guess

- They massacred Wanda's character. I wanted to feel compelled by both sides like in Civil War but they really did her dirty. And then she couldn't actually be defeated so they just had her pull a Padme and die of sadness. What a girlboss. I also love how Vision wasn't in any of her fantasies because I guess Paul Bettany didn't want to do the movie

- Plot? Don't know her. The whole movie was running to place to place, cringey dialogue, running again. My least favorite kind of plot. Nothing really happened via logical cause and effect, there were just cool looking fight scenes Sam Raimi wanted and so they happened. Woo.

I want to sit down with Sam Raimi and watch this and pause it a lot and be like, "so let me explain to why that line is stupid. And why this isn't enjoyable to watch. You did a bad thing."

Marvel is truly sending out its C list movies now, they know the superhero movie bubble is gonna burst soon.

Thursday, March 31, 2022

New York, New York

 I always stress about a lot of different things with trips like this and then it’s the ones I don’t expect that pop up. But honestly today’s New York trip went about as well as it could go, until MegaBus. I found the new stop this morning with only a little weird driving to get into the garage. It’s on the bridge now which is cool. The ride up was uneventful; nice to see New Jersey again. It was chilly in New York but I had a jacket. First stop was 45 Bond because I wanted to try something new and it was highly reviewed for brunch. Very Italian and they had a butt statue to rub, haha. I am not sure if I needed my reservation or not but I had one and the waiters were very fancy. I got an omelet and breakfast potatoes. It was really good! Nice thick cheese in there and then eggs like the place from the mill. Mmm.

Then I walked around Times Square for a while; I can’t believe it’s been two years since I’ve been. Theatres require ID and proof of vaccination to get in, which is all you can ask for. It’s weird feeling okay with some things and then weird about others. This is gonna be the thing we never really get over, I think.

Then I went to Westside Theatre for Little Shop of Horrors. I’ve never done Off Broadway before so I wasn’t sure what to expect but I really loved it. In the lobby there were several teenagers and the boys were going back and forth a routine oh “Batman has one rule. What rule? He doesn’t kill people. It’s his only rule. Won’t kill anyone. No other rules? Nope, only one rule.” What ‘boys will be boys’ should mean, haha

 It was a much smaller house obviously (with a plant in the lounge ;O)  but y’allllll these guys blew it out of the water. I was most excited for Christian Borle and of course he delivered. A nice surprise was that he did more than just the dentist, he was an assortment of characters as well.

I expected to like Conrad from HTGAWM because Oliver was the best non Viola Davis character and he absolutely slayed it. So earnest and sweet and good. I am a big fan of his more specifically now. Also I just looked it up and he’s forty three??????????? Literally would have bet on him being like 31. Him trying to point a gun: cinnamon roll. The ensemble girls were also fierce and on point. It’s such a small cast but that can also be an asset. And at bows they brought out the techies and the plant operators and the conductor on a TV as well as the voice of Audrey II of course.

Highlights: Christian Borle’s dentist hair lol. When he was a random guy “couldn’t help but notice that strange and interesting plant” he did a little tooch back on “I guess I’ll just have to buy twice as many then” and it was pure chaos, I Love it. The dewop girls throwing dollars into the audience and then demanding them back. The sparkly red outfits and encouraging Seymour to jump onto the garbage can. When Christian Borle comes on as three characters in a row giving Seymour contracts, including as an old lady, and each time he takes off Seymour’s glasses and recoils. “Nope.” “WOOF” “ugh” I was dying

The plant was super cool; I’ve only seen the show once and at the Empress and their plant was neat but this was obviously like ooooh. It could move almost to the audience and it was huge. And at the end it sprayed blood out and I jumped. Someone’s phone went off near the beginning of act two and Connor’s line right after was “I’ll call for you” and he gestured to the audience and smirked. “You’ll hear it.” He also seemed to nearly break for a second when old lady Christian was talking.

For the Broadway Cares plug Christian Borle said “just a minute here and we’ll start act three.” “We know you paid a lot of money to be here, we’re just asking for you to pay a little more to get out” It was great. I totally would have stage doored if they were doing it but alas Covid has taken it. But one of my favorite shows I’ve seen in New York even though it’s an older script. (Definitely aged, the Audrey stuff that was originally comedy now seems much harsher.)

Next was Six. It was pretty much what I thought, more a pop concert than a musical. Everyone was really talented it just wasn’t the same for me as something like Little Shop. The dialogue was horrible, so cringey. It was super cool to have an all women band though and call them the Ladies in Waiting. The outfits were awesome; I want Jane Seymour’s dress. Silver and lovely metallic shimmer. There were definitely some bangers but I think it still needs some work. But it is what it is, which is not a musical. But props to those ladies because that is a ton of dancing and singing in crazy spiked heels so damn they must all be fit as hell. (Oh and Six had a “suddenly Seymour” reference lol)

My schedule was working perfectly as I was going to get to the bus stop right on time for the bus to take off. HOWEVER the 8:15 bus, according to the driver, “never showed up” so we became the 9:15 bus and merged with those riders. I don’t know if they just got lucky and had enough seats or if some people didn’t get on but I’m just glad I a) had a seat, b) got to wait on the bus instead of outside for an hour, which I’ve had to do for buses, and c) that it was the bus home and not there that was vanished. Also I guess reading lights on the bus don’t work once they leave which I think I knew but had forgotten. Oh well.

It was SO cold when I got off the bus and bitterly windy, even colder than the first day in Philly at the Navy Yard because it was after dark. I found the parking garage without much trouble but then trying to get out it said exit closed and I was like “what am I gonna do, sleep here?” But there was another exit and all was well. Then I got turned around trying to take a different exit than I usually took to get home but I made it to Broad Street and then from there I knew where to go from dropping off/picking up Justin all those times when we shared a car, and also when I went to the Sixers games. All in all it was a fun and busy day but when the radio played “Take Me Home Tonight” I agreed. In bed now. Tomorrow home!

Saturday, February 19, 2022

Without a Touch of Poetry

 For what, we ask, is life without a touch of poetry in it?


A favorite lyric from a favorite show. I got to go to a callback yesterday, for the first time since March 2020. The three Ps (pandemic, pregnancy, postpartum) have kept me off the stage for over two years and I would dearly love to do a show this year. Unfortunately this callback had not one but two dance combos, the latter of which was wildly out of my level, so I'm not holding my breath. But it was great to be considered. I'd never auditioned at this theatre before so it's nice to know I can get callbacks from video auditions without knowing anyone. It seemed like a neat place. Pretty far drive for me so I won't go there unless it's a dream show, which this was. But so refreshing to get called back. My last audition was a disaster so I feel a bit of redemption.


Ways I am trying to find poetry in life:

Reading for pleasure every day

Watching Diana find joy in the smallest things, like grabbing a zipper, or seeing someone walking around the corner

Auditioning for things I want to be in even if I don't think I'll get cast


Thursday, January 27, 2022

Getting Back on the Horse

Here are some things I want to resume (or attempt to) this year:

- Blogging, shoot for once a month. But I'm not going to put tons of pressure on myself for it to be wonderful, insightful essays, this short, rambling entry being a case in point. I just want it to be more than an annual book diary.

- Theatre (I miss you, musicals) (directors I am begging you)

- Any sort of travel, even just down to St George or Cedar City once snow stops being a risk

- get a Wordle in three guesses or less. This may never happen as I'm actually really bad at word scrambles. But I can dream!


General updates? Having a baby changes everything, obviously. People ask me how I'm doing and I answer with how she's doing. Working to get back to having some "me" stuff as well. Did literally the worst audition of my life in December and had to stop myself from breaking down in the audition room. "Whyyyyyyyyyy does this pianist hate me?" So it can only go up from there, or at least not down. (She said, tempting fate.) Haha, no, I was totally humiliated. But I didn't die and life goes on!

Diana is closer to being a year old than a newborn, which blows my mind. I love her so much, but I worry so much. I worry that she'll never learn to eat anything more solid than applesauce, that she won't crawl, that she won't sleep through the night. (However if I stay up late anticipating her wake up she sleeps soundly so for now I'll keep doing that, haha!) It's not that I'm worried **she** can't do these things, I worry that **I** can't teach her, or am failing her in some way.

She loves to go outside, even though it's so cold. Makes me wish we lived in San Diego, where she wouldn't have to be triple bundled to do her daily walk to the mailbox with daddy. Oh well, she's so cute triple bundled. (And I wouldn't want to live in San Diego anyway, but I can't wait to take her to the ocean.) She loves bathtime and the water. We were going to a baby swim class but I got nervous about the spike in Covid rates and stopped. It's so tough to be a new stay at home mom right now and not really able to go anywhere because I just want to make it through her first flu season with no sickness. Knock on wood, it's working so far. But it's tough too. I just want to go back to normal.

So hello, blog, from me and kitty sitting on the couch (she wishes it would go back to normal too, but she hasn't seen nothing yet) and sleeping baby upstairs. (Stay sleeping, little one.) Here's to 2022, and roughly twelve blog entries.