Snow White and the Several Dwarfs
Cast List
Narrator / Magic Mirror / Prince
Snow White
Evil Queen
Huntsman (can double as Bashful)
Doc
Grumpy
Happy
Bashful
Narrator: Once upon a time, in a kingdom
far, far away, there lived a young princess named Snow White. Her father was a
good king, but his wife was more worried about being beautiful than about being
kind. The queen’s anger was stirred as she saw how lovely Snow White grew, and
she made her do many hours of chores and never let her wear new dresses. But
Snow White had a pure heart, and nothing the queen did to her could make her
give up on her dream of finding a better life.
Enter Snow White.
SW: Another day of scrubbing the corridors
done. I wish that my stepmother would at least tell me I am doing a good job
now and again! She must be very busy to never come and see my work. She sits, tired. I wish I could go to a place where I was
appreciated and loved and everyone did their fair share. Here the birds are my
only friends, and I’m sorry to say they are not very good at conversation.
Prince, off stage: Snow White, thou art the
fairest maiden in the land! Say that you’ll marry me, and I will take you to my
own castle.
SW: Umm, another day, perhaps. How can I
marry a man I do not know?
Prince: Don’t be so picky! There are many
girls in towers who would be thrilled to accept. In fact, I’m off to give the
same offer to one right now!
SW: (sighs) This is not the dating scene I
had hoped for.
Exit Snow White. Scene shifts
to Queen’s chambers, with hand mirror. Queen is applying makeup.
Queen: That girl grows more beautiful every
day, even in rags! I must consult my mirror to make sure that she has not
surpassed me… this new brand of lipstick promised that I’d be the most
beautiful woman at any party. If it is not so…. (she glowers) (addressing
mirror) Mirror, Mirror, in my hand / who’s the fairest in the land?
Mirror: Can anyone really say who the
fairest in all the land is? There are so many types of beauty, and it’s really
a very subjective thing…
Queen: Out with it!
Mirror: Yeah, it’s Snow White. Her heart
and soul are beautiful, not just her face.
Queen exclaims in anger.
Queen: I will sue that lipstick brand for
false advertising!!!
Mirror: That does take quite a bit of
paperwork, my Queen.
Queen: Silence! Fetch the Huntsman.
Mirror: Huntsman, please report to the
Queen’s chambers ASAP.
A few moments, then Huntsman
enters, out of breath.
HM: What is it?
Queen: I have a task for you. You must take
Snow White deep into the forest and kill her! Cut out her heart and deliver it
to me in this box.
HM: That seems super dark. Isn’t this a
kids’ show? How about I just, like, give her a bad haircut?
Queen: GO!!!!!!!!!
End scene. New scene :
Huntsman and Snow White are alone in the forest.
HM: Snow White, I must warn you, the Queen
is out for blood. She will stop at nothing to destroy you. This is my first job
since graduating from the hunting academy, but it seems like murder is not a
normal job request.
SW: I can’t say I’m too surprised. She has
been growing more and more angry these last few years.
He hands her a bag of
supplies.
HM: Here, take these. I know a small
cottage you can go to. The forest can be a frightening place, but I’ve spent a
lot of time in it, and no harm will come to you.
SW: That’s very kind. Are you sure it won’t
endanger you?
HM: I’m a huntsman, I can take care of
myself.
Narrator: As Snow White and the Huntsman
walked through the forest, they talked of many things. The princess felt glad
to be out of the castle and with her first human friend, and the Huntsman was
happy to help. Soon they came to the cottage in the clearing.
HM: Now, full disclosure, I have never met
the people that live here, but I’m sure they’ll be nice, living so far out here
they probably don’t get many visitors. I have to go back now and throw the
Queen off the scent, but this should be a good place for you.
SW: Thank you again, kind Huntsman. (she
hugs him)
Exit Huntsman. Snow White
enters the cottage and looks around.
SW: What funny little chairs! They must be children
here! How odd that children would live all alone in the middle of the forest,
but stranger things have happened. I’ll just tidy up for them so they’ll know
I’ll be a good houseguest.
(optional-- “Whistle While You Work” plays
/ she sings )
SW: There, that’s much better! As I always
say, a clean house is a happy house. I’m now feeling very tired, I guess it
won’t be too rude to use these little beds for a nap.
She sleeps. Enter the
dwarves.
Grumpy: Now, I don’t mind telling you,
something is not right. This cottage hasn’t been cleaned in years and suddenly
the windows are sparkling! It’s black magic, I tell you. We ought to just go
build a new one somewhere else, or sleep in the mine tonight. Who knows what
has taken residence here?
Doc: Now Grumpy, don’t be absurd. We all
know it’s serfectly pafe, I mean, perfectly safe.
The dwarves creep up on the
beds.
Happy: All right, fellows, let’s let our
guest know how delighted we are to have them by waking them up and yelling,
surprise!
Bashful: No, that’s not gonna happen.
Grumpy: It could be a dragon!
Happy: Pretty small dragon, if you ask me.
Doc: It falls to me as the brave leader to
once again take charge. (He crawls to the bed and whispers, “who are you?”)
Snow White continues to
sleep.
Grumpy: Oh for crying out loud. He bangs loud objects together. Who are
you and what are you doing in our house??
Snow White wakes suddenly.
SW: Oh! I’m terribly sorry, I was waiting
for the children to get home. (She looks around) But you’re not children,
you’re little men! Oh, my, you really have no idea how to keep a house clean.
Bashful: we do, but-- (hides face)
SW: (laughs) Not to worry, now we can all
enjoy this clean home.
Doc: I beg your pardon?
SW: I’m going to be staying for an extended
visit. My stepmother, the Queen, is envious of my beauty and my friend the
Huntsman brought me here. Otherwise, I don’t know where I’ll go. Please let me
stay.
Grumpy: No! There are plenty of other
kingdoms and cottages.
Happy: Just a minute, Grumpy! We’d be HAPPY
to have you! That’s my name, Happy!
SW: An unusual name, but you quite live up
to it.
Doc: All dwarves are named after their most
noticeable attitude trait.
SW: What’s your name?
Doc: Doc.
SW: ….are you a doctor? Is that a
personality trait?
Doc: You ask a lot of questions.
Bashful: Maybe we should…. (hides face)
Happy: Invite her to dinner! You’re exactly
right.
Narrator: The dwarves and Snow White ate
dinner together, and then danced and sang till late in the night. Snow White
felt very lucky to have found these new friends.
(Optional dance sequence)
Scene: the next day
Happy: Well, Snow White, we’re off to work!
Bashful: Have a… garsh, you know (hides
face)
Doc: And don’t open the door for anyone!
Grumpy: Bah humbug. You’ll be fine,
obviously you have no problem with taking over our house, so any other problems
will be easily dealt with.
SW: (Laughs) Grumpy, I will bake your
favorite kind of pie tonight and we’ll see what you say then.
Grumpy: (stomps foot)
The dwarves exit, singing “hi
ho.” Snow White goes into cottage. Almost immediately the Queen enters, in
disguise.
Queen: This is a foolproof disguise! I
boiled up a potion to make me appear completely harmless. With ingredients like
the meow of a kitten and comfy pajamas, I now appear to pose no danger to
anyone. Snow White will never recognize me. But that will be her last
mistake…..
She knocks on the cottage
door.
SW: Hello?
Queen: It is I, a harmless peddler.
SW: That’s strange, the dwarves said that
no one had visited this cottage in years.
Queen: It’s a new route. We’re reaching out
to new customers.
SW: How did you find this place?
The Magic Mirror is seen
sticking out of the Queen’s basket. We flashback to hear him say,
“recalculating…. Recalculating…. Please make a U turn at the next tree)
Queen: Umm woman’s intuition. Now, do you
want to buy some apples?
SW: Grumpy’s favorite pie is apple, I heard
him say so last night. Yes, of course.
Queen: Oh, that was much easier than I
expected. Wouldn’t you like to taste one first, to make sure that they’re good?
SW: Oh, you look so kind and trustworthy,
little a cute little kitten in pajamas. I’m sure their wonderful.
Queen: (to audience) Blast! My disguise has
worked too well!
Queen: (to SW) But I insist! These are
wishing apples!
SW: Wishing apples?
Queen: Yes. You must think very hard of
your dearest wish and it will come true with the first bite.
SW: Wow.
Queen: Yup, an amazing deal. Please, try
one.
SW takes an apple.
SW: I’m wishing…. I’m wishing that I will
be able to live here in peace and that the Queen will realize that women
shouldn’t be tearing each other down over looks, we should support each other
in sisterhood. (she takes a bite)
Queen: Wait!!
Narrator: But it is too late. The Queen’s
poisoned apple has worked the instant Snow White’s lip touched it, she falls to
the ground in an enchanted sleep.
Queen: I now realize the error of my ways!!
Snow White was right, women shouldn’t be competing over who is more or less
beautiful, we should work together to make a better world. I regret the time I
lost not connecting with my stepdaughter. (weeps
bitterly)
The dwarves enter, having
taken a very short work day.
Grumpy: What has this kitten in pajamas
done to Snow White!??!
Happy: I am UNHAPPY about this. And that’s
not a good way to feel.
Doc: Now, hold on just a minute, you
helpless looking imposter. You must be the evil queen that Snow White ran away
from.
Queen: Well, yes, that was I, but I had a
mighty change of heart, and now I am full of bitter regret.
Bashful: Gosh. (exits, bashfully)
Happy: How can we break the spell? That’s
the only way I can be happy again.
Queen: The antidote to the curse is a kiss
from someone with a heart as pure as hers. My mirror kept going about how Snow
White was beautiful on the inside as well as the outside, and so I figured it
would be a nice touch of irony to make the curse about inner beauty. But how
will we ever find someone so good?
Huntsman enters.
HM: Oh, no, Snow White! I led her here out
of the goodness of my heart, to keep her safe, at personal risk to myself and
no profit, and look what has happened.
The dwarves and queen all
look at him like, “AH HA”
Queen: Hey! It is I, the Formerly Evil
Queen.
HM: (does a double take) Are you sure?
Queen: Yes. There’s no time to explain,
kiss her! You have a pure heart!
HM: Umm I feel weird about this, but a peck
on the cheek won’t hurt. (kisses SW’s cheek)
Snow White sits up , yawning.
Narrator: And so it came to pass that the
Queen learned to respect her fellow women based on actions, not appearances.
Snow White said a fond farewell to her dwarven friends, although they remained
fast friends. The cottage was just a little too small for her. She went back to
the castle, and the Huntsman was promoted to Castle Greeter. (It might not seem
like a promotion, but this was a much better fit for him.) And they all lived
happily ever after.
