Wednesday, July 15, 2015

YOT23O (You Only Turn 23 Once)

It's my birthday! 

I love birthdays. I love getting to eat cake just because someone survived another of earth's rotations around the sun. I love spotlighting people and being like, "Hey, you're awesome, and I'm glad you were born." I love birthday songs and surprises and the excuse to celebrate.

I turn 23 today! Prime numbers are the best years, right? 19 treated me well, anyway. It better be good; I don't get another one until 29. (Sometimes it is clear to me that I am a math teacher's daughter.) 

Some stats from the last twelve months (alternately titled: What Rebecca Did While 22):

-Read 73 books
-Performed in five shows (Camelot, First Christmas, Importance of Being Earnest, Mary Poppins, and Rumors)
-Had 113 castmates
-One new jobs
-Two breakups
-Nine roommates
-Six days at fan conventions

Add to this an insane amount of Netflix episodes (I don't want to know the number), a lovely amount of late night conversations, and just the right number of pop-tarts, and you have a snapshot of my year. But more importantly than the numbers, this was a year of growth, particularly the last half. My resolution for 2015 was "Make better bad decisions," and I'm proud to say I've stuck to that. I have not done anything that I look back on with major regret. I have fallen in love, I have cried myself sick and laughed myself sick, I have been who am I am and discovered more about who I want to be.

This has been the year of re-conversion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My soul has been touched by the Spirit on so many occasions and I now consider this the most important part of my life, which is not something I would have said a year ago. But what I am learning is that God is patient, and merciful, and knows infinitely more than I. I'm still, at times, anxious to see the plan, but I am working on cultivating a faith-filled heart.

I am grateful beyond words for all the wonderful people I am blessed to have in my life. My family never ceases to amaze and inspire me. My coworkers have accepted my quirkiness as just another fact of life. My roommates and ward members are kind. The people that have brushed against my life, for longer or shorter amounts of time, have influenced and helped me more than many of them know. The kindred spirits who have helped me love myself, love God, and love others. And above all, I must thank my theatre peeps. I just adore them. When I moved to Salt Lake City in 2011 my dream was to get one lead role. I've had three! But the other shows have been great experiences as well; it's truly been one of the main sources of happiness for me. Heathcliff said, "I cannot live without my soul!" That's how I feel about theatre. I will never be able to express the joy that has been derived from these rehearsals, these performances, but most of all these PEOPLE. <3  <3 <3 

Lately I've been having a pretty tough time, not gonna lie. There were days I wondered if I would ever get the sparkle back in my eyes, or if life was even worth it. But a few nights ago I was driving home and found myself absentmindedly singing a happy song and was struck by the realization that I'm going to be all right. People have insisted this is true, and I've been chanting it to myself for weeks like a mantra, but suddenly I believed it. It was a beautiful moment in almost a cliche way; I swear the stars were suddenly brighter. 

It was a defining year. I feel good about what I did, and what I will do in the future. It's gonna be a good year. I can feel it.  Bring it on, world. I'm ready for you.  

Also, look what my coworkers did to my cubicle! The pictures don't quite capture it, but there are cat pictures e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e :D  

No comments:

Post a Comment