What I Read in 2023

 I meant to read more than forty eight books this year. But it turned out to be the hardest year of my life and the best we can do is all we can do. 

Top Ten of 2023:

1. November Road-- Lou Berney

Content warning for lots of sex and violence but my god I loved this book. I cried. Can we overcome who we have been?

2. Be Frank With Me-- Julia Claiborne Johnson

I usually hate precocious kid characters but this one was great.

3. Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, & the Last Trial of Harper Lee-- Casey Cep

Did you know at one point Harper Lee was apartment neighbors with Hall & Oates?

4. A Man of Iron: The Turbulent Life and Improbable Presidency of Grover Cleveland-- Troy Senik

5. It Came From the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror-- Ed. by Jose Vallese

6. Tyrant: Shakespeare on Politics-- Stephen Greenblatt

7. Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts-- Kate Racculia

8. 100 Places To See After You Die: A Guide to the Afterlife-- Ken Jennings

9. Trailed: One Woman's Quest to Solve the Shenandoah Murders-- Kathryn Miles

10. Answers in the Form of Questions: A Definitive History & Insider's Guide to Jeopardy!-- Claire McNear

Honorable mentions: All Things Aside-- Iliza Shlesinger (nonfiction) and The Silent Land -- Graham Joyce (fiction)

And now the complete list. As always, my recommendations are bolded and sections are sorted alphabetically by author. Rereads are marked with ***. Here's to a happier 2024, and let me know what you think I should read in it!

Nonfiction

Black is the Body: Stories From My Grandmother's Time, My Mother's Time, & Mine-- Emily Bernard

Born Round: The Secret History of a Fulltime Eater-- Frank Bruni

***Shakespeare: The World as a Stage-- Bill Bryson

Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, & the Last Trial of Harper Lee-- Casey Cep

A Mind Spread Out on the Ground-- Alicia Elliott

Tyrant: Shakespeare on Politics-- Stephen Greenblatt

Screaming on the Inside: The Unsustainability of American Motherhood-- Jessica Grose

Comedy Sex God-- Pete Holmes

100 Places to See After You Die: A Travel Guide to the Afterlife-- Ken Jennings

***Now I See You: A Memoir-- Nicole C Kear

The World Deserves My Children-- Natasha Leggero

Answers in the Form of Questions: A Definitive History & Insider's Guide to Jeopardy!-- Claire McNear

Trailed: One Woman's Quest to Solve the Shenandoah Murders-- Kathryn Miles

***Never Cry Wolf: The Amazing True Story of Life Among Arctic Wolves-- Farley Mowat

The Indomitable Florence Finch: The Untold Story of a War Widow Turned Resistance Fighter & Savior of American POWs-- Robert J Mrazek

The Impossible First: From Fire to Ice-- Crossing Antarctica Alone-- Colin O'Brady

The Taking of Jemima Boone: Colonial Settlers, Tribal Nations, & the Kidnap That Shaped America-- Matthew Pearl

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity-- Esther Perel

We Thought We Knew You: A Terrifying True Story of Secrets, Betrayal, Deception, & Murder-- M William Phelps

The Far Land: 200 Years of Murder, Mania, & Mutiny in the South Pacific-- Brandon Presser

Brave, Not Perfect: Fear Less, Fail More, & Live Bolder-- Reshma Saujani

A Man of Iron: The Turbulent Life & Improbable Presidency of Grover Cleveland-- Troy Senik

All Things Aside: Absolutely Correct Opinions-- Iliza Shlesinger

Missing, Presumed-- Susie Steiner

***Unfriending My Ex & Other Things I'll Never Do-- Kim Stolz

Sitting Pretty: The View From My Ordinary Resilient Disabled Body-- Rebekah Taussig

It Came From the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror-- Edited by Joe Vallese

The Witches Are Coming-- Lindy West

O My America! Six Women & Their Second Acts in a New World-- Sara Wheeler

Fiction

And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer & Longer-- Fredrik Backman

November Road-- Lou Berney

Five Little Pigs-- Agatha Christie

Long Black Veil-- Jennifer Finney-Boylan

*** The Ocean at the End of the Lane-- Neil Gaiman

***The Wind in the Willows-- Kenneth Grahame

A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor-- Hank Green

The Thin Man-- Dashiell Hammett

The Utterly Uninteresting & Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant-- Drew Hayes

The Queen of the Tearling-- Erika Johansen

Be Frank With Me-- Julia Clairborne Johnson

***Howl's Moving Castle-- Diana Wynne Jones

The Silent Land-- Graham Joyce

Before the Coffee Gets Cold-- Toshikazu Kawaguchi

Interesting Times-- Terry Pratchett

Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts-- Kate Racculia

The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle-- Stuart Turton

Quick Service-- PG Wodehouse

Lemon-- Kwon Yeo-sun

she persisted

 This has been the hardest, worst, most tumultuous year of my life. There is still a month and a half to go. But there have also been streaks of light and love and joy. Esther Perel says catastrophe has a way of propelling us into the essence of things. Well, honey, we're in the essence now. And feeling so much, all the time is so exquisite and cruel and relentless. My heart sometimes is hit by waves of pain and longing so pure it feels like I'll break into a thousand pieces. My feelings are jagged and unpredictable. My toddler exclaims, whenever I cry, "Mama has big feelings!" My baby doesn't understand anything yet. He just stares at me with his dark gray eyes as if to remind me how much I am needed, how much responsibility I carry. How can I, someone so flawed, have had a hand in creating something so beautiful? 

And sometimes my beloved holds me and I cry on his chest and he strokes my hair and I'm sure that if we can just make it to the new year I'll be okay. The person I was before may have died but I think who I am now has a shot at happiness, if I can play my cards right.

My heart is like my newly postpartum body-- it may still be bleeding but it is doing its goddamn best.