My Halfway Through the Year Resolution

I love New Year's Day, because it's a clean, fresh slate with no mistakes in it and unlimited potential. Through the year I can lose sight of that potential. January is simply a word on a calendar, there's no reason I shouldn't sit down and set goals in July. Recently I've been thinking about what I prioritize in this the latter half of my twenties. And before I buy a ticket for the grand adventure that is starting a family, I really, really, really want to get more theatre in it. A lot of theatre. It's been six months since I was in a show, and at that time I didn't appreciate it as much as I should have because I was also trying to plan a wedding.

I don't plan on making that mistake again. (Not appreciating a show.) (Although I also don't plan on planning any more weddings.)

In preparation for the flurry of July auditions, I printed out new resumes for this stranger who is Rebecca Cook. I have been signing up for auditions left, right, and center, even though I don't dare type the names of the shows I'm auditioning for fear of jinxing it. Theatre gods are capricious creatures. Idk, man. I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stititious.

Auditions make me The Most Anxious™. Or maybe that honor belongs to callbacks. On second thought, it definitely belongs to callbacks. What torment could be sweeter than knowing that you're within spitting distance of getting what you want, but not at all guaranteed of a slot on the cast list? Audra McDonald said that an actor's job isn't to get cast, it's to audition well. Sometimes I don't feel I can do either. But I want to. I want to audition well! And I doubly want to get cast! (Not caring about something may be the key to success, but I've never been good at that.) 

Mood when you realize that the director has no obligation to cast you even though you've dreamt about performing this show since you were seventeen 

Because I care so much about auditions and I despise failing, I've been known to talk myself out of auditions because "it's not like I would make it anyway." No more! Not this year! Not this married lady! I am going to go to every audition I'm even remotely interested in until I get cast. Life belongs to those who show up, after all. And even a "failed" audition can lead to valuable experience, or connections, or maybe they have free cookies there or something.

Rejection, they say, doesn't necessarily mean you aren't talented. It just means you aren't right for this show. My oh my, it feels much more personal than that, and it seems like the people who say stuff like that just happen to always be right for every role.

I feel like I'm a good cast member. I think most of my directors have liked me. But the sucky thing about auditions is that everyone feels that way and everyone thinks it's their turn, and the directors don't ask for essays extrapolating on how much you want this. Quote from my 2017 journal: "I know that casting is subjective, but does it have to be subjective so many times in a row?" 

So, if you know of any auditions, hit me up. Anticipating auditions is a strange high because you never know, you might do FANTASTIC! This could be the show that I'm a perfect fit for! Mayhap they'll even forgive my dancing because the light in my eyes is so bright, or whatever. (#SingerWhoMoves) And if you have any audition tips that have helped you, please share! Rebecca Cook is here and she's only been rejected twice and she's hungry to be onstage.