Conventions: A Joyful Spirit

I’ve just ended my third fan convention. They are my favorite places. I’ve been thinking about what makes them so wonderful, because it isn’t only the geekery. The geekery is awesome, but there is so much more to them than that. It isn’t only the presence of celebrities, although being in the presence of talented people is intoxicating. It’s more than the merchandise and the cosplay and the panels. What makes conventions the best of all the places is the spirit of the thing.

When I first went to my first convention last April I must admit I was afraid. I had never been to anything like this, and I was going alone. I was apprehensive that someone would mock me for not cosplaying, or call me out on my lack of knowledge on comic books. I had heard horror stories of girls being attacked as “fake geeks” who “only want to attract boys”, and that doesn’t sound like my cup of tea. What if someone asked me about issue 37 of the original Batman comics?

But as soon as I walked through the doors of the Salt Palace I knew that things weren’t going to go wrong. Not only were they not going to go wrong, but they were going to go very, very right. To be quite honest, it was love at first sight.

I have never met a rude person at Comic Con. This is not to say they don’t exist, but they are by no means prevalent. I have never felt judged for not cosplaying, or for not being a part of a certain fandom, or not knowing everything there is to know. I have never seen anyone else berated for such things either. The only thing I feel at conventions is unadulterated love. Love for television shows, love for books, love for cartoons and steampunk and obscure references. We rejoice to find others that feel the same fire of obsession, to be surrounded by it.

Standing in lines to meet amazing people who I’ve only seen on the silver screen can eat up hours, but I’ve encountered some delightful partners-in-waiting before finally reaching the prize. I love people who make me forget that I’m shy. I’m not naturally talkative around strangers, but these people don’t seem like strangers. That sounds cliché, but they are my people. Geeks may be “in” at the moment, but hardcore fans are still viewed as a little on the odd side by general society. Here we all fit in. (Except for maybe that one guy in a sports jersey who didn’t know who Carrie Fisher was. It's like the opposite of high school.) Trekkies, SuperWhoLockians, anime nerds, and a myriad of other fandoms mingle in harmony. No one is judging, saying someone is “too geeky” or “not geeky enough.” It’s an enveloping and welcoming atmosphere; it feels like home.

I don’t know if all conventions are like this, or just the ones in Salt Lake. Does it have something to do with the fact that they're new to the city? (The first one was in 2013.) Ours are certainly smaller than San Diego’s, but they sell out, and the number I heard bandied about was fifty thousand attendants on Thursday, which is nothing to scoff at. I’m sure that celebrity guests flatter every convention they attend, but it did seem they were particularly fond of Salt Lake. Tom Felton said that our con had more of a spirit of pure joy than he usually felt, and I accept that as true. Even when I was exhausted, sore, and frazzled, I was still so glad just to be in the presence of all these outstanding nerds.

I wish the world could be more like Comic Con. If you're obsessed with a movie that no one else has talked about for ten years, that's cool. If you aren’t into a certain show, well, you get a strong recommendation and a smile, but not shame. You came in a bathrobe converted into a Jedi costume? Sweet. You spent three years and a thousand dollars making a Wheatley that would speak, light up, and rotate? Dude, rock on. You can dress in thick layers to be Thor, or very little to be Poison Ivy, and I will be equally okay with you.

The sensory overload that overwhelms you at a convention is only the tip of a marvelous iceberg. Although the hundreds of booths, artists, and vendors are amazing to behold, it is not the merch which makes Comic Con. It is the people, and their instant acceptance of each other. Bono said that a geek is a person full of passion, unencumbered by cool. What an excellent explanation. We love what we love, and we love it with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. We have laughed, cried, and debated over fictional universes probably more than some of the people creating them have, and we are not ashamed. The rise of the fangirl is a splendid thing to be a part of.

I am already anxious for September to arrive, bringing a new convention and a fresh wave of geeks from out of the woodwork. To look around and realize you are among thousands of people who, without knowing you, accept you, and to automatically feel the same about them is glorious. Life is beautiful when we find something to love like this.

Rebecca Blogs FanX (Saturday)

Well, friends, another convention has drawn to a close. I'm already anxious for September; Comic Con is one of my absolute favorite things. Yesterday was a rather bittersweet day, as I couldn't shake the shadow of it all ending, but it was still great to be there, mingling among my people. If I get around to it I plan to write a longer post about the "joyful spirit" of conventions, because it fascinates me. 

I had rehearsal till noon and a callback at two, but in the brief time between these things I went to Artist's Alley and bought a sweet Spike poster. Original art is so wonderful. I love the coloring and the cigarette and his gorgeous cheekbones. While at that table I heard, “Rebecca!” and looked over to see my friend Andrew at a different table and ran over to talk to him. It was nice to see him again. I've met people I know all three days, and I love that.

After the callbacks, which involved lots of dancing, I was tired and starving.I was starving and got nachos and a hot dog at the food court, then went into the ballroom for the last even, the cosplay contest. I’ve never gone to one of those before, but I plan to in future. It was a good note to end on. They had a kid’s category first, and I sat there and cried. I love how people love things like I do, and kids are an emotional weak point. There was a “dark power ranger” who started break dancing, a shy TMNT, and several Links. Too cute. The kid below is Thorin Oakenshield....my camera quality sucks.

Some costumes are amazing! The clockwork man that I saw the first day was there, and the way he walked and turned to face the audience so mirrored the episode he’s from-- creepy good. A girl in the Cinderella rags dress spun around and it turned into the ball gown. Glad I caught that on video; it was like magic. I have no idea how she rigged it up. Post-apocalyptic Ash Ketchum was unexpectedly hilarious to me. (Speaking of unexpectedly hilarious, Han Solo singing ‘Royals’ in line behind me the other day definitely belongs in that category.) Tulio and Miguel, Edward Scissorhands, a Bowser made of balloons, Al Capone: the entries were as varied as the attendees. The costumes that won were two girls playing Thor and Loki , and they were legit. It apparently has taken them three years to get them put together. They did a kind of dance duel and Thor gets stabbed and hits Loki with the hammer but then hugs him and it was perfect. (I saw a Thor going down the escalator with a child yesterday and in my head he was like, “Let us descend carefully down these moving stairs, child.” Oh, Thor.)  

I was very emotional and tired and everyone was dancing and I just wish the whole world could be like Comic Con where everyone loves things and nobody’s judging or mocking and it is an exuberant and glorious place that I think everyone should visit at least once. I never wanted it to end.

Rebecca Blogs FanX (Friday)

Friday is always the best day of conventions! I’m going to start with the highlights of today, because I want to scream the following sentences from the rooftops forever: CARRIE FISHER PUT GLITTER ON MY FACE. AND TOM FELTON GREETED ME BY SAYING “HELLO, MY LOVE.”

AHDLKFJKSLDJFLKSDJFKLSDJFKLSDJFSLKDFJSKLDJFKLSJFKLSDJFKLSDJFLSKJFLSDJFOIESRUOIWEROIWERJOIWEJRN<VN<MVNC<NVVNPAJERPWJEPDFLJFLSDJFahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The con opened at eleven this morning, so I was there at eleven. The line moved remarkably quickly, aww yeah. I headed straight to the celebrity row. Carrie Fisher was at her table and I joined the line. It was very slow moving. To say those words does not extent the slow moving-ness of the line. It did not move. As I eventually got closer I observed that Carrie Fisher is tiny. Tiny! She had her dog, a French bulldog named Harry, sitting with her, and she was rubbing glitter on all the meet-and-greeters. Why? Because she's Carrie Fisher and she can do that, that's why.

I stood in line for two hours. She went on break once for probably forty minutes. I stayed. It’s Carrie Fisher. When she went on break she looked at me (the wrap around line I was in had put me near her table) and said, “We’re going to replenish the glitter. This is stale glitter.”

She did come back. I made it to the table and picked out a photo for her to sign and suddenly I was standing in front of Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher. Princess Leia. PRINCESS FREAKING LEIA. I could tell from watching that she was a celebrity who liked to keep a distance from her fans, with excellent reason. I’m sure she has heard insane stuff since this all blew up in the seventies. The appropriation of slave Leia into popular culture makes me sick. So I knew that I wouldn’t want to try to chat her up or anything, because I'd probably end up telling her about the childhood pillowcase I had with her face on it, and that's not cool. She thought the girl in front of me was Rebecca and then I said, “No, I’m Rebecca,” and she said, “You’re Rebecca” and then, “Close, please” meaning to close my eyes in order to get silver glittered RUBBED ON MY FACE WITH THE ACTUAL FINGER OF CARRIE FISHER. She was telling someone about her dog while doing it, and then sang, “Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca” to some tune that I’ve heard before but don’t know, all with my eyes still closed. It was a very surreal moment. She wrote “Love to Rebecca, Carrie Fisher” on the picture. She was a gem. Observe me showing off the glitter:

It was about 1:30 and I went to the ballroom to see who was in there. It was the original Uhura from Star Trek, and she has a very nice singing voice! After her panel was Felicia Day. Felicia Day is the bomb. She at one point made a face and then said, “I did a dumb face cuz I got awkward. HI.” Felicia Day is me. She automatically says yes to anything Joss Whedon offers. She has written a book, to be released in August! Once on the Supernatural set Jensen was making fun of her during their fight scene and she hit him so hard she dislocated her thumb. She was so great.

Then it was Tom Felton’s panel. Tom Felton. Tom Felton. The man is so freaking sexy. HIS VOICE THOUGH. British accents are the most attractive of all the things. He was sorted into Gryffindor on Pottermore recently, and so everyone was teasing him about that. “I had to be in bloody Gryffindor.” And the first time he met his girlfriend she was an extra at the Gryffindor table. “The signs were already pointing towards my true house.” He’s in the editing process of making a documentary about conventions and super fans, how cool is that?? He clearly has an insider’s perspective. He thinks it’s bizarre that people act like conventions are weird, then yell at a television for two hours about a game that doesn’t affect them at all. “This is not right at all.” Describing how he got to be Draco Malfoy: “I managed to sneer pretty bad.” If Harry had accepted his offer of friendship, “I probably have just kicked his arse.” When he’s nostalgic he says, “Scared, Potter?” “If you see me wandering around saying that to myself don’t think I’m crazy.” He met a very naughty spoken six-year-old. When meeting people on set everyone loved the trio and was afraid of Tom. He says that Alan Rickman embraced the fear he inspired and would say things like, “Tuck in your shirt, boy" along with giving out cuffs to the back of the head. A little girl asked Toma question and he asked how old she was and she said nine and he said, “You’ll be getting your letter soon” and it was adorable.

So after that panel I went to get in line to meet him. It was a very long line. I know I said that the line for Carrie Fisher didn’t move, but I was further back in this one and it Did. Not. Move. This line ended up being almost three hours. Luckily the couple in front of me were friendly and we became line friends. The wife’s name was Katie, I don’t know the dude’s name. Life friends are a funny phenomenon. The husband complimented my shirt (Calvin and Hobbes/Star Wars crossover) and asked my name about an hour in. We're all fans of Firefly, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and conventions in general. Husband accidentally called me a liiiiiitle bit pathetic for being there alone, but our line friendship survived nonetheless.

We saw a dude wandering around in a sports jersey and I remarked it is the opposite of high school-- one jock in thousands of nerds. The husband: “Maybe he’s a geek in jock’s clothing.” A girl dressed as Oliver Queen asked if I'd ever been to Spain, because I look like someone she met on a plane there. At some point we realized that we had moved forward quite a bit in line. It really was strange-- I don’t remember moving. Neither did wife Katie. There is only the line, stretching out into infinity. But we did move, but then the volunteers started warning that Tom was leaving at seven (it was 6:20), and we were not guaranteed to make it through. I felt lame about that, as did those around me. But I waited, hoping against hope. The husband said, “Watch as he goes away right when we get there.” I berated him about putting such things out into the universe and made him take it back. "If I don't get my autograph, it's your fault, and you will be cursed."

Then the volunteer came to get the last ten people and blessed be this day for I was one of the ten. At this point my heartbeat raced out of control because he was right there being his gorgeous British self and I was going to meet him and I couldn’t handle it. A sticky note with my name was stuck to the headshot for him to sign, and suddenly I was standing in front of Tom Felton.

He is so hot in person.

He was looking around for more pens, because apparently the markers they had been using were starting to run out. So he wasn’t paying attention to me and I was standing there not knowing what to say and finally he looks at me and I go “HI” in probably the weirdest possible way. He says, in those dulcet British tones that make me absolutely melt, “Hello, my love.”

HELLO, MY LOVE.

IN BRITISH

THIS IS NOT REAL

Then, “Rebecca, is it?” Yes sir that is me. I think I made some noise of affirmation. Tom said, “I see you met Carrie earlier. Got glittered.” GOT GLITTERED. I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with how that phrase sounded coming out of his mouth, but the obsession is real. I said I was a big fan of Carrie Fisher. He started to sign the picture. I was freaking out because I wanted to ask if he hated monkeys (it's a running joke between my roommate and I) but knew the time was short.  I said, “I have a quick question for you which I promised my roommate I would ask.” Tom Felton: “Hit me.” Me: Do you have negative feelings towards monkeys because of your death in Planet of the Apes?” He looked a bit thoughtful and said, “No, I don’t think so.” I said I was scared of them and he said, “Oh, I’m scared of them. I guess I’ve always had negative feelings towards them, but not because of the film.” HAAHHA YES HE DOESN’T LIKE MONKEYS SCORE. I put out my hand for him to shake and he did and I was shaking for probably the next ten minutes. Katie and her husband were waiting beside the table to talk to me, which I thought was exceedingly nice, because usually your line buddies just vanish into the mists of time. But we said our goodbyes and they thanked me for providing entertainment in line and I was shaking so bad for like an hour because TOM FELTON SAID “HELLO MY LOVE” in his British accent and ahhh

He wrote “To Rebecca, Love Tom Felton, Draco.” He has the most lovely handwriting.

I could have stayed a bit longer (I haven't had a chance to look at even most of the booths this time around, and am not sure how much time I have tomorrow), but I had to go home and get ready for an audition and scream to my roommates about how fantastic fan conventions are. CARRIE FISHER PUT GLITTER ON MY FACE AND TOM FELTON REMARKED UPON IT. 

Rebecca Blogs Fan X (Thursday)

Let me start by saying: BOY HOWDY I FREAKING LOVE FAN CONVENTIONS. This is my third one in twelve months, and they're just the best. c: 

I woke up early to be to work by seven so I could leave at three. I was a bundle of nervous energy on the way down. (I was really paranoid that my wristband wouldn’t work.) (Spoiler alert, it worked.) In the general admission line I stood next to a girl named Alicia with an animatronic Wheatley (check it out here) that lit up and moved and was awesome. She was friendly and we talked and I enjoyed it. After we heard, “I would murder Mark Wahlberg for his voice” I’m keeping a Comic Con quote book. The best, though, was us talking about how Comic Con is like General Conference for nerds. We block off traffic, there’s a huge congregation of people dressed different from everyone else, and we gather to listen to speakers. These are my people! When the volunteer came to our section of the line to let us into the Expo hall he said, “FOLLOW ME” like freaking Moses and we all surged forward. Alicia and I were checked in and went our separate ways. She was cool.

I walked right into the Mark Pellegrino panel. He played Jacob on Lost and Lucifer on Supernatural. He was funny and charming. (He says that is the worst direction a director can be. “Can you be more charming? And go.”) He does the craziest made up accents. He would marry Jensen and Jared (his Supernatural castmates). Quote: “If zombies were around I would be a zombie rights activist.” Talking about playing Lucifer before the fall he pointed out that he really only played a guy whose body was taken over by Lucifer. Imitating Lucifer: “That Nick is sooooo SMEXY. I’m being him forever!” When asked if the actors had any idea what was going to happen on Lost he said, “Jacob knew everything. He was the source of all the mythology.” *pause* “I knew nothing.” He was great.

I stayed in the ballrom for the next panel, which was Karen Gillan and let me just say girl crush acquired. She is gorgeous, she is hilarious, she has a Scottish accent, she is flawless. So funny! Three adorable kids asked her questions; one little girl said, “Did you cry when you cut off your hair?” and it was so cute. The other little girl asked which was her favorite monster on Doctor Who. Karen said the Silence and the Weeping Angels. Then Karen asked the little girl what hers were and she went, “…..same.” A little boy asked how long it took to put all the makeup on for Guardians of the Galaxy and when Karen said five hours his face was literally :o (Kids in costumes are my FAVORITE.) 

She was full of quotes. She saw the Mormon Tabernacle Choir last time she was here and was very impressed. “Good choirs here.” When somebody said she spoke Gaelic she immediately corrected the punctuation to “gallic” even though she doesn’t speak a word. (It’s funny because I just learned about there being two different languages from grandma and grandpa.) She can’t drive, and will wait for the self-driving car. Take that, Amber! She told a hilarious story about Matt Smith trying to impress a supermodel and ending up knocking over a fake lamppost. Karen strikes me as a very real person. When she got her last script for Doctor Who Arthur Darvill and Matt Smith were calling her to talk about it and she said she was like, “NOPE NOT HAPPENING.” Her and Matt Smith must be so tight. When somebody asked how it was to flirt with/kiss him in the beginning of their seasons she said it was like kissing your brother. “Incest is wrong.” On flirting with him: “Best acting I’ve ever done” and cracked up. Someone in the line to ask questions was dressed as a Weeping Angel and she said, “I really hope I’m not the only one who sees that.”

But the BEST part of Karen Gillan was definitely when she was asked to show off her dance moves. She said she didn’t want to dance alone and asked for a volunteer from the audience. Some dude dressed as Robin, with practically nonexistent shorts, dashed up and was so *sassy*. He danced and she did the running man and I was dying. Only at Comic Con.

As I was walking out of the Karen Gillan panel some guys in front of me were saying how Scottish is the most attractive accent. “Even the Scottish men are hot.” Truth. In line to get in I kept passing this RIDICULOUSLY ATTRACTIVE Han Solo cosplayer who had curly dark hair and basically I wanted him. But he was with his Princess Leia, so, lame. There are so many attractive dudes there! Some year I’ll get up the nerve to try the speed dating out, or wear a shirt that says Single and Geeky. It's only logical.

I got several compliments on my shirt, which features Ten and Rose kissing in front of the TARDIS. I ran into Jessica Eldredge with her cute little family. She saw me; I was entranced by a giant dinosaur walking around. (Have I mentioned that I freaking love Comic Con?) It’s crazy to run into people in such a crowd, and today was sure to be the least crowded of the days. Tomorrow is my hardcore one; I'll be there almost all day. Awww yeah. 

2014: A Year in Books

Choosing only ten books as favorites at year's end is always a difficult task. I'd written a rough draft mid-December, but then December happened to be full of amazing reads that couldn't be left off. #problemsthataren'tproblems

Only books I read for the first time this year were considered. Otherwise it goes without saying that Hobbit and Harry Potter would be featured prominently.

Top Ten Books of 2014
10. Fic by Anne Jamison (I am a huge fan of fanfiction and this book discusses it extensively.)
9. Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok
8. Living My Life by Emma Goldman (Turns out that Emma Goldman is every bit as legit as I wanted her to be. I love it when that happens.)
7. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
6. Unfriending My Ex by Kim Stolz
5. Song of Spider-man by Glen Berger
4. Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman (I'm in love with this book.)
3. Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson (Read this book. Just read it.)
2. The Book Thief by Markus Zuzak (This book will break your heart in the best way.)
1. The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr (I don't even know what to say about this book. It is perfect. This man is amazing. If this book doesn't inspire you to fight injustice, nothing will.)

Honorable mentions: The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame (fiction) and The Unpersuadables by Will Storr (non-fiction)


A few statistics:

• 81 total books, 37 fiction and 44 non-fiction. Although I read more non-fiction books, when it comes to page counts fiction leads with 12,591 pages to non-fiction's 11,552. That's a total of 24,142 pages.
• Longest book-- A Clash of Kings by George RR Martin (969 pages)
• Oldest book-- Evelina by Frances Burney (1778) 
• Books I've meant to read forever and finally got around to: The Maze Runner, The Eyre Affair, The Graveyard Book, The Fault in Our Stars, Brave New World, Three Cups of Tea, Dracula, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Book Thief 
• Historical figures I became better acquainted with through biographies: Emma Goldman, Shirley Temple, Martin Luther King Jr, Ike Eisenhower, Walt Disney, John Quincy Adams, Harry Selfridge
• Classics: Evelina, Three Blind Mice, Crime and Punishment, Madame Bovary, Wind in the Willows, The Heart of the Matter, Brave New World, Doctor Zhivago, Dracula, Around the World in 80 Days

 Complete list follows the Jump

Eighteen Months

With my grandparents having returned from their mission this week I’ve been thinking about time. Eighteen months, to be precise. They left for the Scotland/Ireland mission in April of 2013. At the time I remember being afraid that I would have to get married without my grandma. Was I close to getting engaged at the time? No. Did I have a boyfriend at the time? No. Was there any boy that I even consistently texted at the time? Of course not, but hope springs eternal, and it's easy to imagine that Eighteen-Months-Older Rebecca will be a lot better at achieving things. 

Obviously I am not writing to you as Mrs. Whoever. I could’ve, is the funny thing. I mean, there was a dude who expressed a pretty serious interest in putting a ring on it. But our relationship ended in flames (thankfully only figurative ones), and now, as Daenerys said in A Clash of Kings, “Her only consolation was that least she’d had the great good sense not to marry him.” My grandma will be at my wedding, should I ever deign to give up my beloved cat lady label.

But what else has happened in the last eighteen months? I’ve been in two shows: Camelot and First Christmas. I’ve moved to a third house in the Murray area— my roommates and I just can’t seem to get away. I’ve shopped at the same Smiths for three years now. I drove to California and back twice, was introduced to RPGs, and bought a new car. (Goodbye, Cathy!) Taylor Swift came out with a new album, and it’s freaking brilliant.

 In the area of Netflix, which is a pretty significant area in my life, I added a lot of shows to my Watched By Rebecca queue. The most important? Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I watched all seven seasons during the course of one glorious month in late 2013 on a gorgeous flat-screen television that was temporarily living at our house and fell deeply, deeply in love. My advice to you is don’t ever bring up Buffy, Spike, or Joss Whedon unless you are prepared for at least a two hour session of me obsessing over the most perfect show in existence. I met James Marsters!!!!! He touched me!!!! (I am not a person who uses multiple exclamation marks, but trust me when I say they are justified in this situation.)

I also discovered Avatar, Walking Dead, Supernatural, Switched at Birth, Lost, Better Off Ted, and The Office, in the realm of television. Lost was frustrating, Being Human (the UK version) was great, and I gave up on Downton Abbey. I’m six seasons into Supernatural, and The Office made me shed both tears of laughter and actual tears. 

I fell head over heels in love with a scrawny British late night host named John Oliver. His existence brings joy to my life. The obsession is real. He is literally my ideal man: British, feminist, bitingly funny. He has the same birthday as Shakespeare! I was destined to love him.

I switched jobs twice, first to a Brookstone in the airport and then to Western Governors University, a job at which I hope to stay for the foreseeable future. Nine to five, Monday to Friday, baby. No more 4:30 a.m. shifts for me!

I read one hundred and sixty-two books and kissed three boys. I watched a lot of Marvel movies. I’ve become deeply interested in social justice causes and become a lot more comfortable with the liberal sensitivities I’ve been struggling with since high school. I now wear the label of feminist, equal rights supporter, and pro-gun control with pride. I’ve decided that I am good enough, and although I struggle with this quite a lot some days, cool people seem to like me, and they must see some potential in me.

In some ways I feel like exactly the same girl who said goodbye to her grandparents eighteen months ago, but in others I feel like a completely different person. That’s the paradox of life, I guess: we never change, but we never stay the same. 

Raise Your Voice

Lately I've been talking a lot about Ferguson, and Eric Garner, and basically anything I can find about the issue of racial inequality in America, specifically as it regards to the police. It may be that people wish I would shut up. Well, I wish I could.

I would love to talk about other things, like my excited trepidation for the new Star Wars movie, going home for Thanksgiving, or my new obsession with a skinny Englishman named John Oliver. (He may someday be the subject of his own post because he is perfect.) I could tell you stories about dreaming that Stephen Colbert tried to hold my hand, or singing Annie in the elevator at work, or my recent introduction to X-Men. I've been learning about Ada Lovelace and performing a Christmas show and being baffled/pleased by a December so warm that I've been driving around with my windows down.

But just at the moment, I won't.

Right now I will use my voice, both online and in real life, to join in a discussion about social justice, because it is important. I strongly believe that it is vital for us to stand up when something is wrong, even it is controversial. All that it is necessary for evil to conquer is for good people to do nothing. And as a white person, I will never truly understand racism, but I can fight against it because I understand that it exists. If I see injustice in the world I am going to say something about it. This was not always true about me, but I learning that what people think of me is far less important than being able to live with myself.

There was a protest in Salt Lake City on Saturday night. I very much wanted to go, but I had a performance in the aforementioned Christmas show. This whole week I've been having a bit of a quarter-life crisis in the vein of, "How long would it take me to drive to Missouri? I have enough for  a plane ticket to New York. Do you think the protests in San Francisco are still on?" Because I want to be a part of it. I want to stand up and be heard. I want to carry a sign that says JUSTICE and march down a street to make a statement.

I'm not black. I can't chant "We can't breathe" or "We are all Mike Brown". I'm not oppressed by my race. But I want to be on the right side of history, and much more importantly I want to be one the right side of my humanity. I would never be the person who actively disparages the protesters, but I feel that I would be betraying myself to sit back and be silent.

You don't have to agree with us. But we will not apologize for our views and we will not be silent. I will have an open-minded discussion with you if you will have an open-minded discussion with me. But what it comes down to, in my mind, is that when it comes to human rights, the only change this country has ever seen has come from people who are willing to fight for it. I intend to stand up against injustice and inequality and say, "This is wrong." Because it is. My soul knows this, my mind knows this, my heart knows this.

"And say to those who blame us/ For the way we chose to fight/ That sometimes there are battles that are more than black or white/ And I could not put down my sword when justice was my right/ Make them hear you/ Make them hear you." -"Make Them Hear You", Ragtime

"Do you hear the people sing?/ Singing the song of angry men/ It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again/ When the beating of your heart/ Echoes the beating of a drum/ There is a life about to start with tomorrow comes" -"Do You Hear the People Sing?" -Les Miserables